The Angel’s Wrath

… Sometimes the best way to handle a problem is not to handle it… Leave it be… I finally realized that my years of monstrosity have caught up with me… I’m finally harvesting what I planted… I never thought an angel is capable of striking deadly blows but I felt it… She realized that the past is a huge chain that shackles her from a good life… that that past has poisoned the present and killed the future… Whispers from the wilds guided her to go up against the very thing that she fought for… that my love is nothing but a vault of regrets and compounded hatred… I cannot blame her… I instilled these memories with my wicked ways… And now she wants out… I want to stop her but I will only impede her liberation… Her multitude of followers support this notion and i can only watch as the towers I built crumble to dust… I decided not to include my legions in defending my fortress knowing that these walls they are destroying are the same walls that protect her… I shall let it be… Her wrath for freedom should supposedly bring her happiness and contentment… That my existence is meaningless in the new path she’ll be taking after she spiflicates my entire kingdom… I will only stand and watch… Cause I know that the energy and force I spent strengthens her pride… My failure in this phase of life shall not mark the end of my reign… I will sought assistance again from the dark and rebuild my castle… The rightful heir to her throne is nearby I can smell her…

… Supposedly weekends are a blessing to those who spend the whole week working their butts out to earn a living… Not for me… I have no one to blame but myself… I was supposed to be able to master my own emotion and not get everything in my head to be intricate… Its like a big puzzle with small pieces scattered all over the room… chaotic and messy… I don’t even have a clue where to start… Should I ask for help?… hmmm… I wanted too but hey No one wants too… They’re also too busy filling up their own void inside a virtual world… My head aches… I normally don’t feel this but today Its fucking annoying… I don’t even want to think of taking meds for this… The pain reminds me of what day it is… Everyone is out of the house… Got no one to talk to… Its like people hate to be around me… I’m like a virus infecting one’s sanity… Got no cure for this… I failed… I failed a thousand times… I ‘ve made stupid decisions in my life… even recently… and it cut me so deep, I don’t even deserve it… I can’t point a finger on fate… It doesn’t even exist in my reality… I made the decision… I want to go back in time, undo and redo every single mistake i made… Photoshop can’t help me… Once done is done… it cant be undone… Like scattered layers in a PSD file… I’ve flattened the image and I can’t delete or edit it anymore… I wish I can just go ahead and start anew but my path is tainted with hatred, blame, doubts and vendetta from people I love… I was hoping a little consideration could help me see a little light on this… Who am I kidding… Their heads are so bloated and filled with pride, their necks became so stiffed they can’t look back… They need to focus on work, work , work… But I’ve been there walked that road and found nothing at the end of it but intersections of indefinite futures with figments and leftovers of  a broken dream…

This weekend… I’m a walker… frozen in time… waiting for Shane or Rick to take me out…

I can feel the breeze
touch our bodies
and the sun’s ray created
a sparkle on to your skin
It was the moment
of emptying sins
creating warm ripples
of our colliding being
We coalesce as one
with infinite intimacy
with fire and with ice
passionately holding on
to reach the ivory sky
never wanting to cease
never wanting to release
until the wind shy away
and leave us be
with the love it sings
and the lust it brings
we shall touch the alps
with your alabaster wings…

Walked by the road today
It was exactly as it is
People passing to and fro
Cars piled up in traffic.
The erratic sound echoes
the confusion of it all.
Silence is just madness,
a dream for fools.
My feet carried me
to my finite destination
a quarter pound smile
greeted me, made me grin.
The vicious cycle of life
is both a bath of
bitter and sweet memories
phases, stages and walkabouts.
Its all about unwanted nods
and fitting the glasses….

Relationships come and go these days, It’s just like replacing old gadgets when you’re not satisfied. That sucks big time. A lot of couples, married or not end up separated or with severe compatibility issues or they end up whacking each other and blowing their brains out dead. I may not have a doctorate in relationships counseling but hell, I do have basic ideas on how to keep it going or make it more stable. We need L.U.S.T., yes you read it LUST…  :D

[ L ] for LOVE
This is the very foundation of a relationship. The two individuals concerned must love and like each other otherwise there’s no point in continuing your shitty companionship. Unless you’re imbeciles trying to prove nothing or just having a stand off on whose gonna last long bearing each other’s repulsive attitudes. How do you know if there’s even a bit of love existing between the two of you? Hmmm… If you feel happy when you’re with him/her then that’s a good starting point… and if you miss the person when you haven’t seem him/her for even a short period of time.. that’s another extra point… but for me this is only a piece of the puzzle… It must be accompanied with the other 3 components.

[ U ] for UNDERSTANDING
This condition has been misinterpreted by dumb asses who think of it as controlling your emotions and letting it be… arrrghhh… Understanding each other is more of a  mutual notion that even with the slightest movement of your partner you’ll be able to feel or know what he or she wants… Its not about being highly compatible but rather being complimentary to each other’s needs… Being able to talk endlessly about everything under the sun and beyond and not tire out because you understand the topic and you ‘re both eager to learn from each other’s point of view… It’s like when a girl ask about how she looks, a man can give compliments or honest opinion when needed… or a man would talk about tech devices and the girl can give out options on a more suitable brand or price…

[S] for SEX
Every relationship dies without this… Oh come on… some people are just hypocrites saying they can live without this… Lemme guess they were nuns and priests in their past lives… Anyway sex is not just the act itself… Its about touching and being affectionate with your partner, a kiss here, a hug there, holding hands well these are essentials to keeping the fire… So long distance affairs for me don’t work… These include chat mates from across the universe, a partner who works abroad and comes back annually, phone pals ( do they still exist ? hehe ) and  other virtually oriented intimate companionship… go ahead have sex with the monitor or kiss those letters and embrace those envelopes… Flesh matters, warmth matters… Being intimate is about exploring the power of touch and expressing your feelings to want and be wanted. Making love builds a bond between couples. Sex keeps the passion alive and the fire burning… We all want to be touched by our love ones.

[T] for TRUST
There is no right or wrong in the design of love. Trust is about being confident that you are loved and you love your partner. The common mistakes in a relationship is building parameters, setting up rules, caging yourself in your own world. Love is boundless. Trust is not only given to him/her but also to yourself. You should be able to trust yourself that you are satisfied with what you have  and would only want more if it is to be with him/her. If you spend all your time, thinking about your partner’s faithfulness or loyalty to you then you’re missing out on a lot of good things in a relationship… Trust should be innate and not an external issue… Once you think that Trust should be earned  then you should live alone and start working for the CIA…

No relationship is perfect, no relationship is eternal, everything ends, but keeping it and making the most out it while you’re at it is the key to a happy life.

… Sometimes I think JC is a vamp … Here’s some of my takes on how I think, He is one of the undead … a high level vampire … immune to some of the mythical weapons that can subdue a blood sucker…

1. He was never conceived like any ordinary mortal… Who really was his father? a demon disguised as an angel ? to impregnate Mary? … hmmm
2. He can walk on water … could be the power of flight … floating above water …
3. He can heal people and  raise the dead… folktales tell about the healing power of vampire’s blood …
4. He can lure people with his words… vampires are know to have mystical powers of hypnosis…
5. He was able to withstand the punishment and torture on his way to be crucified.
6. On the last supper, He shared his blood with his disciples… Maybe he turned them to vampires too… to perform “miracles” and spread the “word” <– Don’t say that to Peter Griffin…
7. He rose from the dead… after dying in the cross… I think the guards missed the heart

There you go… oh well… I still have to do an in depth research on this… Please be reminded that these are just my thoughts and my words… not that factual .. not yet…

… Open your mind for a different view.. and Nothing Else Matters – Metallica

There’ll be times
When my crimes
Will seem almost unforgivable
I give in to sin
Because you have to make this life liveable
But when you think I’ve had enough
From your sea of love
I’ll take more than another riverfull
Yes, and I’ll make it all worthwhile
I’ll make your heart smile

Strangelove
Strange highs and strange lows
Strangelove
That’s how my love goes
Strangelove
Will you give it to me
Will you take the pain
I will give to you
Again and again
And will you return it

There’ll be days
When I’ll stray
I may appear to be
Constantly out of reach
I give in to sin
Because I like to practice what I preach
I’m not trying to say
I’ll have it all my way
I’m always willing to learn
When you’ve got something to teach
And I’ll make it all worthwhile
I’ll make your heart smile

Pain will you return it
I’ll say it again — pain
Pain will you return it
I’ll say it again — pain

Pain will you return it
I’ll say it again — pain
Pain will you return it
I won’t say it again

Strangelove
Strange highs and strange lows
Strangelove
That’s how my love goes
Strangelove
Will you give it to me

Strangelove
Strange highs and strange lows
Strangelove
That’s how my love goes
Strangelove
Will you give it to me

Strangelove
Strange highs and strange lows
Strangelove
That’s how my love goes
Strangelove
Will you give it to me

I give in
Again and again
I give in
Will you give it to me
I give in
I’ll say it again
I give in

I give in
Again and again
I give in
That’s how my love goes
I give in
I’ll say it again
I give in

———————————–
A song that tell tales of  a chapter of my life …

i’m not going down on my knees,

Begging you to adore me
Can’t you see it’s misery
And torture for me
When I’m misunderstood
Try as hard as you can, I’ve tried as hard as I could
To make you see
How important it is for me

Here is a plea
From my heart to you
Nobody knows me
As well as you do
you know how hard it is for me
To shake the disease
That takes hold of my tongue
In situations like these
Understand me

Some people have to be
Permanently together
Lovers devoted to
Each other forever
Now I’ve got things to do
And I’ve said before that I know you have too
When I’m not there
In spirit I’ll be there

Here is a plea
From my heart to you
Nobody knows me
As well as you do
You know how hard it is for me
To shake the disease
That takes hold of my tongue
In situations like these

Understand me

and he brought her a pink rose… and the story will go on…

… Sometimes the simplest things matter…