it’s almost 3am, i’m still awake. i have a lot in my mind. i’m spent. the m11 prerelease tournament didn’t do this. in fact, most of it i enjoyed even though i only get to win two rounds; that was more than enough to suffice me.

i just feel tired right now. tired of taking care of stubborn people. tired of people complaining too much. tired of being treated like some kid who just failed to graduate in primary school. tired of being blamed for other people’s mishap and misfortunes. tired of suppressing my ideas and decisions. just tired.

realization is a painful process but i think i was able to endure most part of it. people change sometimes they change for the worse. i always try to be just when criticizing unless it was for the humor of it. Pointing fingers is not really in my nature so here am i wallowing over my own futile efforts to make everything worthwhile. My stress is my own doing. this is the point where i pretend to be all knowledgeable and try to hypothesize the situation and deal with it but who am i kidding? The mere fact, im blogging again explains that my brain can no longer endure to keep up with the commotion running to and fro in my head.

i try to look around me virtually and see people not meeting up to my expectations. its not their fault they have to go on living their lives purposely aligned to their individual goals, we all do. i just hope that people should also consider the feelings of others while they’re at it going about their 24-hour day and night routine. checked.

im spent and by saying this im proving to myself that i’ve been beaten by life’s challenges. this is just like the tournament yesterday. i lose the first two games using the colors i am good at and when i changed deck to green/white i won the last two rounds. maybe this also true in life, depending on the usual and doing the common things you always do might cause disappointment in the later part of life. Maybe its time to move out of the cycle and try something new. then maybe i can gain control of my head again.

i casted mighty leap that gave my boar a +2/+2 and flying, whoa!