Maybe its not the person… maybe its the deed… but then again… a deed cannot occur when there’s no one doing it… I hate selfishness… to the point of letting people you care about suffer…. I hate arrogance and pride… to the point that seeing yourself righteous leaves no space for consideration…. I hate profanity only when this is done in anger and to the people you love… I hate blaming… as mistake is very human… we must learn to take responsibilities for some actions we take and not rely on our fingers to call the shots… I hate bullies who use their power to take advantage of people who care for them and turn them to zombies in some manners… Life sometimes become a chain that suppresses itself… we feel obliged yet we know we have choices and we can do thing to change things but circumstances and events become walls of doubts, doubts that make us susceptible to submission…  Mistakes happen… you cannot change that but you can remember not to commit again… but humans do make the same errors twice… and thrice… yet we still believe that change can happen… being optimistic is good… we hate, we love… we fall, we dream…. we cry, we hope…

Let life be a story and not a manual… But never ever be an author to others story… its morally unethical…

The past few weeks have been stressful and till now … I’m still into that financial sinkhole … I’ve got the answers in my sight but not in my hands …

I have learned a lot of lessons too in dealing with friends and clients alike … Friends are only there to serve in your happiest days and when they need you… True friends are hard to find… Clients.. well clients are in some ways your friends and at the same time your master… You see their nicest side when they need this and that… and turn their backs when you need something… but hey .. its all in the papers.. papers… papers… contracts .. MOA and shits alike…  they always feel like you are gonna screw them… well… the world isnt a 100% honest even though some people still are… and it all boils down to business… I wish I can be a good businessman and be as cruel and decisive at the expense of others’ feelings… but I can’t… and I can’t… there is always a good side in each and everyone of us… even the baddest ass  has one.

I’ve also learn to set priorities… Its very much important nowadays… Im just happy that this fucked up situation didn’t drain the life out of me.. and I still know that hope is better than anger…

I know my daughter understands our problem but as much as i do too … understanding is never a solution. I have to seek more favorable and prompt answers for this… I dont want to go back to the black book and ask help from the dark side… I feel that humanity has suffered too…

 Patience is a virtue… People fear what they don’t understand… Light can only shine as much as its power can hold… Darkness is eternal…

I wanna do bad things with you.

When you came in the air went out.
And every shadow filled up with doubt.
I don’t know who you think you are,
But before the night is through,
I wanna do bad things with you.

I’m the kind to sit up in his room.
Heart sick an’ eyes filled up with blue.
I don’t know what you’ve done to me,
But I know this much is true:
I wanna do bad things with you.

When you came in the air went out.
And all those shadows there filled up with doubt.
I don’t know who you think you are,
But before the night is through,
I wanna do bad things with you.
I wanna do real bad things with you.
Ow, ooh.

I don’t know what you’ve done to me,
But I know this much is true:
I wanna do bad things with you.
I wanna do real bad things with you.

Crumbling into the sea of blood
bathed in angst of life
crying needlessly in pain
that hasn’t yet touched
the deadening skin.

Bear witness to the truth
Open eyes for the sweet lies.

Walking into sea of sins
drowned in lust of vanity
wandering endlessly in awe
that deepened the nail
in his dying skin.

Crave for more, more agony
Swim in dreams of pale minds

Speaking in the ears of the deaf
withered in hunger of attention
whispering loudly in grim
that shuttered the love
inside his golden skin.

Why? why did you let him hurt me?… Why did you let my loved ones get sick and die?… Why did you let her cheat me?… Why did you let these bad things happen?… Why didn’t you answer my prayers?… Why do I deserve such life? …

Some of those familiar cries of the beaten up humanity, a tantrum for the believers. The scapegoat of those who felt life has taken away their purpose in living. As much as most of them go to church and has a firm grip on their belief, they begin to see the other side of their faith when things go awry. When their scripted prayers over a Sunday morning are just mere papers on their God’s suggestion box. And the priest or pastor would utter “Such little faith”! Come on… Enough of this bullshit.

Look at yourself in the mirror and believe that life can actually change and its in your hands. Every single time you think of asking God why? try something like: Why did I let it happen?… Why did I let myself get hurt?… Why did become so stupid?… Don’t always hide in the cloak of your religion… besides this will eliminate the written thingy in the bible that God gave us our brains, free will and the power to decide. People become millionaires not because of a million prayers but because of action and determination and yes! some sort of luck . And yet some people also experience the bad things in life but these are also things that we can control or do something about. Believe in yourself.

Change is nothing near to a miracle.

1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

9. Do not harm little children.

10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

 from The Church of Satan

hey love
is that the name you’re meant to have
for me to call
look love
they’ve given up believing
they’ve turned aside our stories of the gentle fall

but don’t you believe them
don’t you drink their poison too
these are the scars that words have carved
on me

hey love
that’s the name we’ve long held back
from the core of truth

so don’t turn away now
I am turning in revolution
these are the scars that silence carved
on me

this is the same place
no not the same place
this is the same place, love
no not the same place we’ve been before

hey love
I am a constant satellite
of your blazing sun
my love
I obey your law of gravity
this is the fate you’ve carved on me
your law of gravity
this is the fate you’ve carved on me
on me

This is my version of what’s needed in keeping it together. Stuffs that concern both you and your partner. Nothing fancy, just straightforward concoctions from my cranial nerves… Here we go…

0] PATIENCE  – everyone’s a different individual and none is perfect or even near to that state. Incompatibilities do occur and we should be patient to let our partner undergo a metamorphosis so that both your colors will blend instead of collide. This will minimize useless and crappy arguments. Each of us would really want to please and make our partners happy but there are really certain moments when we do our own things and we begin pissing the other side. Change is a development and our patience is needed to witness the everyday progress in making it work in a much serene sense.

1] ACCEPTANCE – Some habits are hard to break. IF ever this habit is not a cause to ruin your harmonious relationship then I think you should learn to accept it.  Maybe a little advice here and there can help your partner. Smoking, drinking, sports and friends in moderation is never a hindrance. Stopping him/her will only make him do it in a more secretive manner so just let him/her have it. This of course has a limitation.

2] APPRECIATION - Learn to appreciate your partner’s good deeds or efforts to make you happy if how small or weird it is. This is will make them feel that it was worth it. We all want that sweet smile in our loved one’s face.

3] RESPECT NOT FEAR – respecting our partner is very important, it’s the very foundation of a strong sacred relationship. Decisions made inside your circle should come to a collaborative solution. Arguments should never lead to name calling, name dropping or profanity. There should always be a balance and elimination of fear, this holds back the real feeling inside a person.

4] FREEDOM SPACE – As much as you always want to be together with your partner, you should always have a bit of space for yourself and mandate yourself in giving him/her space too. We all need solitary reflections to make us a better person and a dependent on each other too much. This gives us time to take care of ourselves, learn new things so that at the end of the day you get to talk about different stuffs.

5] TRUST & HONESTY -  Everyone should be given the benefit of a doubt but in a relationship we should learn to keep that doubt from eating us. We should learn to trust them and give them the power to run their own life at a certain point. This will boost your partner’s discipline in handling problems.

6] VACATION – You two should get away from the busy world of work and money making habits and give yourselves a relaxing vacation once, twice or even thrice a year. This strengthens the bond between you and keeps the fire burning so to speak.

7] KINDNESS - We should always be kind to one another especially to your partner. A little courtesy is not a hard thing to do. The word “Please” shouldn’t be forgotten. A soft tone is literally better than a harsh one. A “Sorry” is much much better than a yell… Kindness matters…

8] EXPECTATIONS - Never expect too much. Satisfaction is found on simple things. Relationships is never about living a Grand life. One step a time makes a journey a fruitful one.

9] UNCONDITIONAL LOVE – Unconditional Love is not about giving something and asking something in return and you feel disappointed because you didn’t get any and you just don’t show it. It is about being truthfully happy when you see your partner happy. And to learn to love  him/her for what he/she really is without compromising each others true identity.

Give me a kiss to build a dream on – Louis Armstrong

A Speck

If your eyes focus hard enough
then you shall come upon me,
I am so small that
no one notices my presence.
They step on me.
They ignore me.
But you did see me,
and all my enitirety.
Though unseen by the many.
You make me who I am truly

And if my being with you
becomes a nuisance too
just whisper to me
or blow a slight breeze
then I shall fly away freely
But hear this my lady
Whenever I am with you
I feel love shining through
And I may be the littlest speck
But you know, I am human too.

… He left space in this world to be filled by his legacies to the youth and all …  He fought bravely not only to live but to paint a bloodless yet patriotic panorama of Filipinos through his songs, poetry and imagery … This post is for my idol .. The Man from Manila… Francis M …

Kaleidoscope World
Francis M

So many faces, so many races
Different voices, different choices
Some are mad, while others laugh
Some live alone with no better half
Others grieve while others curse
And others mourn behind a big black hearse
Some are pure and some half-bred
Some are sober and some are wasted
Some are rich because of fate and
Some are poor with no food on their plate
Some stand out while others blend
Some are fat and stout while some are thin
Some are friends and some are foes
Some have some while some have most

[chorus]
Every color and every hue
Is represented by me and you
Take a slide in the slope
Take a look in the kaleidoscope
Spinnin’ round, make it twirl
In this kaleidoscope world

Some are great and some are few
Others lie while some tell the truth
Some say poems and some do sing
Others sing through their guitar strings
Some know it all while some act dumb
Let the bassline strum to the bang of the drum
Some can swim while some will sink
And some will find their minds and think
Others walk while others run
You can’t talk peace and have a gun
Some are hurt and start to cry
Don’t ask me how don’t ask me why
Some are friends and some are foes
Some have some while some have most

[repeat chorus]

Kaleidoscope world
In this kaleidoscope world