You feel it, don’t you?

The shadow, the static, the weight. It’s heavy, and it’s confusing. Sometimes the most terrifying part is not knowing why you feel this way.

Let’s walk through it. Let’s give it a name.

This isn’t to put you in a box. It’s to show you that you’re not the first to walk this path.

You are not broken. And you are not alone in this.

Depression is not a choice

It’s not just “being sad,” and it’s not a choice. It’s an emptiness. A hollowness. The world feels like it’s a vacuum of unwanted words. Getting out of bed can feel like climbing a mountain. The things you used to love like music, games, art… just feel… quiet. The spark is gone…

You’re just… tired. A deep, bone-weary exhaustion that sleep doesn’t fix.

It’s life is being gnawed bit by bit and:

Like nothing matters, or you just feel… nothing at all.
Irritable. Everything and everyone gets on your nerves.
A change in your world: eating too much, or not at all; sleeping all the time, or staring at the ceiling at 3 AM.
A sense of guilt, like you’re failing everyone, or a voice telling you you’re worthless.
A force that tells you that life is not fair to only you.

This is not you being lazy or “un-grateful“. This is your mind and body sending a flare gun into the sky, screaming that it’s in pain and needs help. I can walk with you… talk with you but if you feel the urge to hurt yourself or others… Don’t think twice… STOP! and call this numbers…

Anxiety Attack is Real

It’s a constant, crackling noise in your head. A permanent “what if?”

Your mind is a runaway train, replaying and whispering every past mistake and forecasting every possible future disaster and mishap. It’s a sense of dread or doom, even when you know, logically, that you are perfectly safe. Your body and mind believe it’s in danger, and it’s screaming at you to run and escape.

These are some symptoms of a panic attack:

Your body is on high alert: a racing heart, breathing too fast, tight chest, feeling shaky or dizzy.
You avoid people, places, or even simple tasks (like making a phone call) because the thought of it is overwhelming.
You’re always “on edge”, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
You can’t “turn off” your brain at night.

You are not “overreacting” or “going crazy”. Your body’s internal alarm system is just stuck in the “ON” switch always on HIGH alert. It’s a faulty alarm, not a faulty you.

I know the feeling… And the only solution that helps is breathing in from your nose and exhaling from your mouth slowly. Then slowly silencing the bothersome noises in your head one at a time…

Addiction is a Serious Problem

You feel that the world is too sharp, hear that it is too loud, too much. You can’t bear the nuisance anymore.

You found something that turns down the volume, calms your nerves, a drink, a drug, a game, a gamble, porn, even work. At first, it was a relaxant. It was your escape. It was the only thing that made you feel normal, or made you feel nothing at all.

But now, the shield has become a cage. You know it’s hurting you. You know it’s costing you. You feel that it’s killing you. But the thought of facing the world without it is even more terrifying.

Your world revolves in this notion:

You need it to get through the day, or to feel “normal.”
You’re lying to the people you love about it.
You’ve tried to stop, or cut back, but you find yourself right back where you started.
A deep, hollow feeling of shame… followed by the powerful urge to use it again to make the shame go away.

This is not a moral failure. It is not about YOUR “willpower.” This is a human response to overwhelming pain, and it has become a trap. You are not a bad person. You are a person who is stuck… jailed in your own house of chaotic solution…

Addiction is not a problem you can solve all alone… You need someone to be by your side guiding you out of your dark room… I can only do so much to point you to the right path but these people, these numbers can’t take you to the right door.

Suicide is NOT the Answer

It feels like the only way out.

The pain is so immense, that it consumes you, that it’s not even about wanting to die. It’s about needing the pain to stop. It feels like a logical answer to an impossible problem.

You may feel like a burden, a broken thing, and that the world—and the people you love—would be better off without you. You just want the noise to stop, the chaos to end… You just want peace. You feel trap with thoughts like:

A deep, profound hopelessness. A sense that it will never get better.
You’re planning… thinking about how you would do it… contemplating…
You’re pushing people away, sending vibes… saying your goodbyes, or giving things away.
A strange, quiet calm, because you think you’ve finally found the ONLY “answer.”

Please. Just stay. Just for one more minute, one more hour, one more day. The pain is telling you lies to get you alone. Don’t listen to it.

The belief that there is no other way out is a lie. It is the symptom of the pain, not the truth. The world is not better without you. You are not a burden. You are a person in burdened with immense pain.

Your pain is real. But it is also treatable. Talk to me.

And if you feel that urge of losing it.. DON’T! call these numbers!