We live in a culture that applauds the hustle. We give awards to the people who sleep four hours a night, answer emails at 3 AM, and juggle impossible workloads with a tight smile.
Over my career, I’ve interviewed countless CEOs, elite athletes, and “super-parents” who fit this mold. And behind closed doors, many of them admit they are drowning. They are suffering from what psychologists often call high-functioning anxiety.
Think of a swan gliding across a lake. Above the water, everything is serene, elegant, and controlled. Below the surface, feet are paddling furiously just to stay afloat.
If you have high-functioning anxiety, your life probably looks great on paper. You are reliable, punctual, and detail-oriented. But your motivation isn’t ambition; it’s terror. It’s the fear of disappointing others, the dread of making a mistake, the belief that if you stop moving, you will collapse.
The internal experience is a constant, low-hum vibrating in your chest. It’s jaw tension, GI issues, and an inability to ever truly turn off your brain. You aren’t relaxing; you’re just waiting for the next crisis.
The danger here is burnout. Because you “look fine,” nobody offers help, and you don’t think you qualify for it.
The solution isn’t just “self-care” bubble baths. It’s nervous system regulation. It’s learning to tolerate the discomfort of saying “no.” It’s realizing that your worth is not tied to your productivity. If you are paddling furiously right now, it’s okay to stop and drift for a while. The lake won’t swallow you whole.
